


I'm Going Slightly Mad

by Thatshortawkwardgirl



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 17:25:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17288285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatshortawkwardgirl/pseuds/Thatshortawkwardgirl
Summary: Queen in the form of a sitcom





	1. Freddie and Roger in the Morning!

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a crazy I had while making my blog. Putting a story behind the incorrect quotes. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy, and please follow me incorrectquotesbymembersofqueen 
> 
> Thank you!

Chapter One: ♪ Freddie and Roger in the Morning! ♪

 

Brian had arrived at the studio earlier than he usually would per request of Freddie and Roger. In the middle of the studio stood three stools two of which were occupied by Freddie and Roger, the pair had giant smiles on there faces.

“Hi, Brian.” Roger greeted waving his hand manically. 

“We’re so glad you could join us.” Freddie said, “Come is.”

Brian hesitated before sitting down, “Guys, what's going on?”

“Don’t worry Brian, just act natural,” Freddie reassured.

“Okay.” Brian sighed, “Are we- What are we doing?”

“Brian, Brian, Brian we’re interviewing you for all our fans out there.” Roger stated, “We really appreciate you doing this.” 

“Oh, sure.” Brian nodded knowing there was no use to try and escape Freddie and Roger’s shenanigans. 

“And 3, 2, 1.” Freddie counted down before joining Roger in singing their introduction,

“♪ Freddie and Roger in the Morning! ♪”

“And we’re back. Look whose here Brian May.” Roger looked out to the imaginary audience.

“Brian, how do you stay so fit?” Freddie asked.

“Uh, diet, exercise, genetics,” Brian replied looking from Freddie to the imaginary audience. 

Earning a fake laugh from both Freddie and Roger. 

“Sure, sure.” Freddie nodded.

“Okay, so it seems as though we have a clip. You want to set it up for us?” Roger asked now really confusing Brian,

“Uh, I’d like to, but I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Okay, we’ll just roll it,” Freddie stated with a wave of his hand.

_“Ooh, My name is Brian May.”_ Roger started with a high pitch voice.

_“Hey, I’m Brian May. I’m so tall.”_ Freddie mocked

_“This guitar is so expensive.”_

_“Hair is everywhere.”_

“Oh, that was really funny.” Roger laughed back to his normal voice.

“You guys, what’s going on? Where are the cameras?” Brian asked his confusion turning into annoyance real fast.

“Oh, we’re not filming this,” Roger replied looking over to Freddie.

“No, who’d watch this?” Freddie asked.

“Oh, guys it’s 6:00 a.m., Jeez!” Brian spat as he stormed off leaving Freddie and Roger.

“We’re not having him back,” Freddie stated to Roger who just nodded before the pair began to sing, 

“♪ Freddie and Roger in the Mor-♪“

“No!” Brian yelled.

Freddie and Roger looked at each other before whispering, “-ning!♪”


	2. Black Bits in Bananas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger is bored and pissed off so the only solution is annoy Brian.

Chapter Two: Black Bits in Bananas

 

Roger was bored. Which is how he found himself at Brian and John’s flat, lazily lounging on the couch flipping through some science magazine as Brian did his coursework. Board and pissed off Roger grabbed a banana from the table slowly unfeeling it all the while watching Brian. The silence was killing him, but every time he tried talking to Brian he was ignored which only pissed Roger off more. Roger Taylor would not be ignored; it was time for the fun to begin. 

“Brian… Brian… Brian…” He repeated, “Brian… Brian… Brian… Brian… Brian… Brian… Brian… Brian… Brian?” 

Brian grip tightened around his pen gritting his teeth before reluctantly turning around to face Roger, “This better be good.” He spat.

“You know those black bits in bananas, are they tarantulas eggs?” Roger grinned in triumph. 

Brian glared at Roger taking a moment before responding, “Please don’t speak to me ever again.” 

Roger stood up from the couch and walked over to Brian, sitting next to him watching as he continued with his coursework. Roger clicked his tongue over and over again more than annoying Brian. Finally having enough Brian threw his pen down, “Roger, why are you here?” He finally asked earning a shrug from Roger.

“I was bored; you were home, you live right across the hall, you’re dating my Deaky, Deaky is at work, really Brian the reasons are endless.” Roger shrugged.

“Wheres your other half? Why aren’t you bothering him?” 

“You know what’s fun; let's play the quiet game,” Roger suggested catching Brian off guard as he watched the younger man move from the table back to the couch, picking the magazine up doing his best to ignore Brian’s all-knowing gaze. 

“He’s with Paul again isn’t he?” Brian asked already knowing the answer because if Freddie wasn’t with Roger, he was more then likely with Paul, “You know you might as well get used to him Rog.”

“Have you never played the quiet game?” Roger asked looking up from his magazine. 

“Roger.” Brian signed, “Freddie is our friend, and we're supposed to be supportive of our friend's relationships.” 

“But I hate him,” Roger whined.

“You are impossible.” Brian groaned turning back to his coursework muttering to himself, “You only hate Paul because you’re in love with Freddie.”

“Huh?” Roger asked turning to look at Brian.

“What…?” 

“No, what’d you say?”

“Nothing, I didn’t say anything.”

“I heard you say something there.” 

“I didn’t say anything.” Brian laughed shaking his head before sighing in relief when he heard his boyfriend enter the flat. “Thank god John, your home.”

“Yes, I am home, here to ravish you.” John grinned walking further into the flat only just to notice Roger sitting on the couch. “Didn’t see you there Taylor.”John blushed turning to kiss Brian on the lips. 

“Don’t worry Deaks; it’s not like I can’t hear you guys across the hall anyways,” Roger stated.

“John make him go away, shake a can of coins at it.” Brain moaned in defeat.

“You are still working on your class work? Brian you were supposed to be done by now its date night.” John groaned.

“Blame the sunshine kid over there he’s been annoying me.” 

John turned to give a disapproving look at Roger, “Freddie with Paul?” He asked.

“When isn’t he.” Roger spat angrily standing up. 

“When he’s with you,” John muttered softly so only Brian could hear making Brian laugh.

“What’s that?” Roger asked crossing his arm eyeing the couple suspiciously. 

“Nothing.” John laughed. 

“I heard something.” 

“I didn’t say anything.” John grinned, “Now come on, let’s leave Brian alone to finish his coursework.” 

John grabbed Roger’s hand pulling him towards the door,

“I don’t know what you said.” Roger began as he was dragged out of the flat, “But it was something. I heard something.” 

John rolled his eyes as he pushed Roger out of the door, “It’s gonna be a long night.” He sighed allowing Brian to embrace him.

“Just remember he’s our friend, and we love him, we don’t want to hit him,” Brian stated with a grin kissing John’s forehead. 

“Come on Deaky, tell lover boy he can snog you after he’s done with his boring coursework!” Roger yelled from the other side of the door. 

“Maybe you don’t want to hurt him, but the little bastard is just begging for me to punch him in the face,” John growled. 

“I’ll come join you two when I’m all done here.” Brian promised resting his forehead against Johns, “I know taking care of Roger is a two-person job.”

“Or a one Freddie job.” 

“I heard that!” Roger yelled.

“That he heard.” John huffed kissing Brian one last time before pulling away and leaving the flat. Brian sighed in relief as he looked around the now empty flat, before sitting down and finishing his coursework. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this Chapter. A little more story maybe, a little romance, a little jealousy, a little humor.  
> Thank you for reading. 
> 
> Sources: The Mighty Boosh, Seinfeld, and Zombieland.


	3. Hums While He Pees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's date night isn't going as planned  
> Brian tells his best chat-up line,   
> Roger gets a date,   
> and Freddie gets jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a re-write mostly just changing Tim to David Bowie, because I love David Bowie and I think they would be adorable together. I'm not sure really why. Anyway, thank you so much for all the love I hope you enjoy.

Chapter Three: Hums While He Pees

Sitting in the coffeehouse with Roger was not what John had in mind for his and Brian’s date night, But here he was listening to Roger whine.  
“I thought we were going to a gay bar?” The blonde groaned taking a drink from the oversized mug that sat in front of him.  
“What’s that?” John asked pointing to the counter behind him.  
“A bar.” Roger sighed.  
“And what are these?” John motioned to the other patrons.  
“Gays.”  
“I rest my case.”  
Roger rolled his eyes throwing his head back, John could tell the blonde was getting bored, and a bored Roger is how he ended up here in the first place. Suddenly an idea popped up in his head, something that Brian had told him but he assumed I was kidding he had to ask Roger now that he had him here. He turned to the Roger only to see he had stood up,  
“Where are you going?” John asked him before he could take his leave.  
“I was going to the loo, why?”  
“Wait. Before you do anything, Count to ten.”  
Roger tilted his head to the side in confusion before asking, “Why?”  
“‘Cause, Brian said you couldn’t.”  
Roger scoffed in disgust before turning and walking towards the bathroom leaving John alone with a grin on his face.  
“You must really love your job.” David laughed as he approached John from behind the counter, “You work here all day, you come back to hang out.”  
“I could be like you and just never leave.” John replied, “Honestly David is there a time you aren’t working?”  
The older man shrugged, “Hey whose the blonde you're with, he’s not your boyfriend is he?”  
“No, no dear god no, That’s my friend Roger he was my roommate until I moved in with Brian.”  
“The guy who set your homework on fire in the name of science?” David laughed shaking his head.  
“That's the one.”  
“You didn’t tell me he was cute.”  
“Ah, he’s just adorable.”  
“Is he?”  
“As the day is long David, as the day is long.”  
“Cool, cool cool cool.” David grinned, “I better get back to work, “Talk me up some.”  
David stood up and left as Roger came back and sat down.  
“Who was that?” He asked sitting back down.  
“David Bowie, he works here,” John replied.  
Roger nodded disinterested, “Can I ask a dumb question?” He asked  
“Better than anyone I know,” John replied earning an eye roll from Roger.  
“I’m serious.”  
“Okay, okay ask your dumb question.”  
“You consider me a sexy man, correct?”  
“…I don’t know how to answer that question.”  
“You answer it honestly. Am I an attractive man?”  
“Yes, Roger, yes you are a handsome young man.”  
“Good, good.”  
“Why are you asking?”  
“Because I was thinking that maybe I want what you and Brian have, but you know sexy.”  
“Brian and I are sexy” John defended.  
“Please.” Roger scoffed, “You and Brian are cute, you guys are like two puppies snuggling together in a blanket in a basket adorable, and it makes me sick.”  
“You know, I’m going to take that as a compliment, mostly because I know how uncomfortable you get when I talk about me and Brian’s sex life.”  
“It’s like hearing about my parents’ sex life only worse.”  
“How is it worse?” John laughed  
“Because it’s you and Brian you guys are like the mum and dad of the group.”  
“We are not the mum and dad of the group, would your mum allow you to drink coffee this late in the evening?” John motioned to the mug Roger was currently drinking from,  
“Yes, and then she would send me to my dads to annoy him,” Roger answered.  
“So you want a sexy relationship?” John sighed changing the subject, “Do you want a relationship like Freddie and Paul’s?”  
“Yeah, just without Paul,” Roger replied setting his mug back down.  
“Roger.” John sighed.  
“I know, I know, I already got the lecture from Brian.”  
“Well, you’re getting it again.” John stated, “Why don’t you just tell Freddie how you feel?”  
“Oh, sure, sure, sure. I’ll just go over to Fred’s right now express my undying love for Freddie right there in front of Paul. Get laughed at then yelled at all the while ruining my whole friendship with Freddie forever. Brilliant idea Deaky, just brilliant. Jesus think before you speak, God!” Roger huffed standing up, “You're buying me another coffee.”  
“I get them for Free,” John stated.  
“Don’t ruin my dramatic exit!”  
“You know what? Maybe Brian was right maybe you can’t count to ten.” John laughed to himself as he turned around to see David attending to Roger.  
Roger and David continued to talk leaving John alone.  
John was sitting alone at the coffeehouse lost in thought when an all too familiar voice tore him away,  
“Hello gorgeous, wanna see my baby elephant?”  
“Jesus, Freddie!” Brian groaned kissing John ‘hello’ before sitting down next to laughing Freddie.  
“What’s wrong darling?” Freddie asked innocently, “You were just telling me how you swept lover boy off his feet with that line of yours, what was it again?”  
“Freddie-“ Brian tried to protest to no avail.  
“Come on Bri, for me please,” Freddie begged.  
“Fine.” Brian turned to John taking his hand in his looking deep into his boyfriend’s eyes before saying, “Is your father a thief? Because someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.”  
John smiled at Brian pulling the older man into a kiss, all the while Freddie howled with laughter.  
“Hey, look.” John grinned at his boyfriend ignoring Freddie’s laughter, “Roger’s talking to “Cute Coffeehouse Guy.”  
Catching Freddie’s attention, “You call him “Cute Coffeehouse guy?” We call him “Hums While He Pees.” Freddie butted into the conversation.  
“Yes, and we call Freddie “Lingers in the Bathroom.” Brian stated, while Roger came and sat down next to Freddie,  
“Hey, you guys, “Hums While He Pees.” Just asked me out.” He grinned wildly making Freddie’s grin drop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! 
> 
> Follow me on tumbler: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/incorrectquotesbymembersofqueen


	4. Surprise Underwear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger is nervous about two things, dating and lizard people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going back to school tomorrow so updates here will be slow but I will do my best to keep up with this story.
> 
> Thank you for the love. I appreciate all of the feedback and hope it continues.  
> Thank you!

~~~~

Chapter Four: Surprise Underwear

 

“So when are you and David going out?” Brian asked,

“Tonight, and I’m really nervous.” Roger explained, “David seems nice, and I really want to try this relationship thing, but then what if he doesn’t want a relationship or what if I end up hating him or he hates me? What if he ends up being a lizard person and he eats my face? What if-“ Roger was cut off by a slap across the face from John.

“I’m sorry for that Roger, but believe me, it was necessary,” John explained. 

“Lizard person? Really?” Brian shook his head.

“It’s a totally possible scenario.”

“I agree, maybe Roger shouldn’t go.” Freddie stated, “You and John can go on your date, and Roger here can come to my flat and play a game of scrabble with Paul and me.”

“I’d rather take my chance with the Lizard Person,” Roger replied.

“Loo Roger Why don’t we join you guys and make it a double date. That way you’ll be more yourself and less well Lizard Person Roger.” John suggested.

“That’s a brilliant idea, John.” Brian praised his boyfriend.

“Yeah, I think that will work.” Roger grinned back at the couple, “Also for the record, I’m not the lizard person, he would be the lizard person.”

“Ok, things like that are the type of topics you might want to avoid.” John patted the blonde on the head.

“What about me?” Freddie asked crossing his arms. 

“What about you?” Brian asked.

“Well I have a boyfriend too, I should go to, you know to help Roger.” Freddie explained, “Anyway, I’m an expert, Brian. I use to go on literally thousands of dates a year.” 

“That doesn’t make you an expert, that makes you an escort.” Brian replied, “It’s up to Roger.” 

Freddie looked over at Roger with a grin, “Come on Rog; we’ll make a party out of it.” 

“Um sure, Fred why not?” Roger didn’t sound nearly as confident as he usually did, Freddie was his best friend and who he had a giant ugly embarrassing crush on.But Freddie was with Paul who Roger hated with a passion, and seeing the pair together hurt Roger like nothing he had ever experienced before. Either way, it was time for Roger to move on so he swallowed the lump in his throat and the idea of seeing Freddie and Paul together tonight and look forward to an enjoyable night with friends and a man who seems to be interested in him. 

“Great, I’m going to head back to my flat and get ready. We’ll meet you guys back at Brian and Johns.” Freddie grinned as he ran out the door. 

The couple looked over at Roger and watched as he visibly deflated, 

“You didn’t have to invite them, Rog.” Brian pointed out.

“Please Brian, you know Fred we’d never hear the end of it.” John sighed moving to sit next to Roger, “Everything is going to ok Roger. David is a great guy, and the two of you will get along famously. You won’t even think about Freddie and Paul.”

“Yeah, until Paul opens his dumb mouth.” Roger sighed

“It will be fine. Now come on I know for a fact David gets out in an hour, and you need to get ready.”

Roger smiled at John hugging his friend tightly, “Thank you, John, you're the best.” 

Roger ran out of the coffee house and up to his flat leaving just John and Brian.

Brian smiled at John moving to sit next to his boyfriend,

“What?” John was smiling back at the older man.

“He’s right I know, you are the best,” Brian said wrapping his arm around John pulling him close to him kissing the top of his head. 

“You are so sappy.” John laughed.

“You know you love it.” Brian laughed back, “Now let's go get ready; I owe you a date night.”

“That you do May, That you do.” John jumped up and followed Brian out the door.

* * *

Roger was pacing back and forth nervously wringing his hands together, John finally having enough grabbed Roger by the shoulders stopping the smaller man in his place.

"Roger you are psyching yourself out. Everything will be fine. You have a date with a great guy, not an asshole like all your other flings. Brian and I will be there to make sure everything goes smoothly; everything will be fine. Right, everything is going to be ok."

"Yeah." Roger nodded, "It's gonna be great. Not much could ruin today."

"Hi!" Paul greeted as he and Freddie entered the flat.

"Oh, shoot. I forgot saying that summons him." Roger muttered rolling his eyes.

"It's great to have you back Rog." John joked patting the blonde on the shoulder.

"So Roger's going on an actual date, that's exciting isn't it, love?" Paul asked Freddie who only nodded. "That's great though; it's about time. I mean Tim broke up with you how many years ago?"

"Paul darling let's not dredge up old history. Tim did a number on our Roger, that bastard is lucky we didn't get a hold of him." Freddie growled.

"Thanks, Fred." Roger smiled at his friend, "Alright I'm all set. Even got my surprise underwear on." 

"You mean no underwear?" Freddie asked smiling back.

"That's the surprise!" 

The pair burst into a fit of laughter, not noticing the glare from Paul.

 

A knock on the door interrupted the moment, 

"Oh god, that's him!" Roger yelped.

"Alright Roger, calm down and remember you are great, and we are all here to support you." John reminded.

"And no talking about lizard people," Brian added.

"Right." Roger nodded going to open the door, smiling his most charming smile when he saw David's handsome face. "Hey." He greeted.

"Hey." David replied kissing Roger's cheek, before looking over Roger's shoulder to see four men staring back at him, "Uh, Hi." He awkwardly shifted from one foot to the other. 

"Hello." They all greeted back.

"Sorry, David this is, Freddie, Brian, Paul and you know John." Roger introduced, "I hope you don't mind I sort of ruined Brian and John's date night and offered to make it up to them tonight." 

"That's fine. The more, the merrier." David smiled.

"I'm glad you feel that way darling."Freddie stated with a large forced grin, "Because my beloved and I will also be joining."

David only nodded, "As long as I can have another lovely conversation with Roger I don't mind who comes along."

Roger grinned, "Everyone ready?" he asked.

Everyone nodded in unison following the pair out the door. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my best work but I still hope you enjoy. Please tell me what you all think, and  
> Thank you for reading.


	5. President of "Things that make sense"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger and David sitting in a tree K-I-S-I-N-G-- wait?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long school is crazy and it's only been like three weeks. I'll do my best to keep updating. Thank you, everyone, for all the love this story has gotten and I love and appreciate all of you and hope you enjoy this chapter. 
> 
> This chapter is a result of lack of sleep... so it's probably a mess. I hope you still enjoy!

Chapter Five: President of "Things that make sense"

 

Much to Freddie's disappointment, Roger took to David like a duck takes to water. The pair seemed to be quite smitten by one another laughing, flirting and friendly banter and easy conversation. 

"It seems like Roger didn't need us after all," Brian stated both him and John watching the new couple like proud parents. 

"See he was worried for nothing." John sighed happily not noticing the glair he was getting from Freddie, who was too busy pouting that he didn't notice his boyfriend getting up to use the loo. 

"Quite rude if you ask me." Freddie huffed, "This is supposed to be a triple date, not three dates just sitting together at a table."

"What are you jealous of them?" Brian laughed. 

"I'm not jealous." Freddie spat, "And I'll tell you why I'm jealous. Because I'm not jealous."

Brian and John stared at their friend in confusion, 

"You're not making any sense," Brian stated with a shake of his head.

"Oh, and all of the sudden, you're the President of "Things that make sense"?" Freddie spat back jumping to his feet in anger before storming off to join Paul in the bathroom leaving a confused Brian and John behind. 

Roger and David were too engaged in their conversation that they hadn't noticed the hissy fit that had just taken place a seat away. The pair were sitting very close to one another knees to knees. David was telling a story that seemed to be really amusing Roger,

"You did not!" Roger grinned.

"I am telling you, up until I was like 9, I thought gunpoint was an actual place where crimes happened." David insisted smiling back at the blonde. 

"How is that possible?" 

"Well think about it, you always hear it on the news. 'A man being held at gunpoint', 'Tourists are being terrorized at gunpoint'. And I just kept thinking why do people continue going there?" 

Roger couldn't stop the laugh that escaped his lips shaking his head at David's naiveness. 

"God, you're beautiful." David sighed staring lovingly at Roger who quickly stopped laughing, doing his best to compose himself he smiled back at David. Suddenly David leaned in towards Roger; the drummer leaned in kissing him only to realize he was reaching for his coat. The blonde quickly pulled back his face turning as red as the Red Special. 

"Oh, God. I thought you were, you know." Roger buried his face in his hands.

"Yeah?" Dave was doing his best not to laugh at the younger man's eagerness, "I was just grabbing my coat." 

Roger let out a high pitched groan only making David smile in amusement as he took Roger's hand into his own leaning in and giving Roger a proper kiss. Earning a loud 'AWW' From Brian and John.

* * *

Freddie slammed the door to the bathroom shut, making Paul jump, 

 

"You alright love?" Paul asked innocently turning to wrap his arms around Freddie's neck

"I'm just worried that's all dear," Freddie replied. "You know Roger's track record with men."

Paul nodded solemnly, "I know darling, honestly I think the only man who is really compatible with Roger is Tim."

Freddie had to bite back a grown.

"He knew how to keep Roger in check, he knew how to handle all of Roger's little... quirks. And just like me, he was able to handle you and Roger's odd little friendship" 

"Our friendship isn't odd." Freddie pouted.

"Love, on our first date you called Brian to check in on Roger." 

"He's important to me, he's my best friend."

"I know darling, and I find it sweet. But do you really think anyone but me and Tim could put up with it?" 

Freddie thought for a moment before resting his head on Paul's shoulder.

"You know, Tim would be more than willing to get back together with Roger."

Freddie pushed Paul back catching the man by surprise, "I would never allow that man anywhere near Roger." He hissed.

"Freddie, I know that they had their issues but the past is the past and Tim is really sorry for the way he treated Roger." 

"You've talked to him about this?"

"He talks about Roger all the time, he usually refers to him as 'the one that got away'." 

Paul wrapped his arms back around Freddie's neck kissing his cheek, "Think it over darling, think what is best for Roger."

Freddie shook his head pushing Paul away again, "Come on darling, I'm sure the others are falling apart without our presence. 

* * *

Freddie and Paul returned to the table just in time to see David lean in and kiss Roger.  

"Awww." Both John and Brian swooned jokingly. Earning death glair from both Roger and Freddie.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this Chapter, please send some love my way by commenting down below.


	6. It's still sunny!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddie and Roger in the Morning is back!!   
> Freddie has an issue with Roger... but he's not mad.  
> John is the peacemaker.  
> and Brian makes a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I wrote this on a whim, I'm sorry if it's all over the place but it was the hardest chapter for me to write.  
> Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy, please continue to send kudos and comment below!

"♪ Freddie and Roger in the Morning! ♪" Freddie and Roger sang in unison sitting side by side in their usual stools; next to the duo sat Miami Beach awkwardly holding a box-turtle looking royally confused while Brian and John sat at a distance watching in a mix of confusion and amusement.

"And we're back with Queen's resident animal expert, Miami." Freddie introduced.

[Cut to Brian tuning Red Special grumbling about how he's Queen's resident animal expert.]

"My name is Jim." Miami sighed, rolling his eyes at the nickname.

"Miami joins us with his pet turtle, Shelly." Roger continued pointing at the turtle in Miami's hands. "Now, I understand Shelly can eat over five mice a day."

"That's impressive," Freddie remarked.

"Turtles don't eat mice," Miami stated growing more and more annoyed as time went by.

"What do they eat?" Freddie asked.

"I don't know. Pellets?" Miami guessed with a shrug, "I have no idea."

"That's disappointing." Roger shook his head.

"That's not good." Freddie agreed.

"Look, what is going on here?" Miami asked finally having enough of Freddie and Roger's antics, "I was looking over contracts. You guys walk in, you hand me this turtle, and then you tell me to smile for the folks at home. What folks at home?"

Freddie and Roger looked at each other before back at the 'audience' with a fake laugh.

"Ohh." "Miami" The pair brushed Miami off.

"These things give you salmonella, you know," Miami yelled as he stormed off handing the turtle off to Brian.

"Let's go to John Reid with a check on the weather."

"It's still sunny!" Reid called out from the hall. 

"Are you two done?" Deaky asked as soon as the door to the studio closed. "Let's try to get some rehearsal done before David get here." 

Roger grinned at John as he hopped off his stool, making his way to the drumset, "Ready Freddie?" He asked, smiling over at his partner in crime who gave Roger the cold shoulder. Since Roger's date with David Freddie had become unusually cold and short with the drummer, if it weren't for 'Freddie and Roger in the Morning' Freddie wouldn't have even spoken to the blonde.

"Are you mad at me?" Roger asked concern lacing his voice unsure what he had done to anger his best friend.

"No. I'm not mad." Freddie insisted, "And I'll tell you why I'm mad. Because I'm not mad."

"You're not making any sense."

"Oh! And all of a sudden, you're the Vice President of "things that make sense"?" Freddie snapped.

"Why Vice Presiden?" Roger asked, scrunching up his face in confusion.

"Because Brian is the President. Deal with it."

Roger looked over at Brian, who was still holding Shelly, the curly-haired guitarist shook his head, "Don't ask." He sighed. 

"What is wrong with you?" Roger asked.

"Nothing, Nothing is wrong." Freddie replied, "Let's just rehearse before you abandon the group to go on your date with David."

"How am I abandoning the band by going on a date?" Roger asked angerly, "You are always blowing us off to go be with Paul."

"Paul is my boyfriend."

"And David is mine!" 

A silence fell upon the band, an excited Brian and John jumped up from there seats.

"What?!" John gasped a mad grin on his lips, "Are you serious?"

"You must be joking?" Freddie scoffed, "You went out on one date."

"We both agreed, what's the point of pussy-footing around." Roger shrugged, "And we've been talking nonstop."

"You barely know each other." Freddie was growing more and more annoyed at his friend's blatant stupidity. 

"We spent the whole night talking; we went out for breakfast. It's the first time I've been on a date that didn't end with sex."

"That deserves a reward in on itself." Brian remarked, "Also, what am I suppose to do with this turtle?"

"Bri darling not the time." John hushed, "So the two of you are together."

Roger nodded the smile, never leaving his lips, "I like him, John." 

Deaky embraced the blonde tightly, "I'm so happy for you, Rog."

"Well, I'm not." Freddie snapped, "Roger darling, you barely know David. At least with Tim, the two of you knew each other." 

"Some good that did." Brian remarked, "John, I've decided, we're keeping this turtle."

"Not now Bri." John brushed his boyfriend off, "Fred, you should be happy that Roger has found someone."

"Tim has been asking about Roger." Freddie blurted out, "Paul told me, he's really sorry, Roger, and he wants you back." 

"Absolutely not." John was appalled by the mere suggestion of Roger's Ex coming back into his life. "Freddie how can you even suggest that Roger get back with him."

"He's Paul's best Friend. It would be perfect." Freddie ignored John and Brian's glares as he continued, "Like the good old times,"

"Until Tim loses his temper or I break one of his golden rules." Roger remarked back, "Freddie, you hate Tim more than I do."

"I talked with him Rog, he really is sorry." Freddie smiled, "You should give him another shot, or at least think about it."

Roger sighed heavily staring at his best friends, "I don't need to think about it, Fred, I'm with David." He replied angrily before turning to leave the studio, "I'm going to get ready for my date, it doesn't look like we're gonna get much done here."

"Roger" John tried to chase after the blonde drummer before turning to Freddie, "What the hell was that about?"

"Paul mentioned that Tim wanted to get back together with Roger. " Freddie shrugged

"Tim nearly killed Roger," John growled.

"Paul says he changed, he's sorry, and he really wants to get back with Roger."

"Unbelievable." John scoffed.

Freddie didn't say another word as he left the studio, guilt hanging heavily over the lead singers head.

"Can you believe him?" John asked turning towards his boyfriend who had long since abandoned Red Special in favor of the small turtle he was cradling in his hands, 

"I'm going to name you Harold." He cooed at the animal lovingly, "And you're going to come live with me."

"Brian, what the actual hell?"  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I'm sorry this is all over the place but It really is just the chapter to get out of the way for things to come.  
> Thank you for reading I hope you enjoy! I really appreciate your comments and kudos!


	7. Game night!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Game night!  
> Brian doesn't understand the rules to the game.  
> Freddie finally explains his reason for wanting Roger with Tim again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written after a long day of work, I'm sorry if it's all over the place.

"Ok, here's your Taboo card, I've got the Taboo buzzer, let's play Taboo. And...Go!" John announced giving the card to Brian.

"Ok, it's a device--" Brian began before being cut off by Roger's rapid guessing.

"Alarm clock! Ironing board! Bull Whip! Whipped cream! Celine Dion! Dionne Warick!"

"Damn-it, will you let me give a clue, you twat?" Brian spat annoyed with his partner before continuing, "It's a device which cooks--"

Brian was swiftly cut off by John pressing the buzzer,

"What?!" Brian groaned, turning to face his boyfriend.

"Can't say 'cooks.' 'Cooks' is on the Taboo cards. It is, therefore, taboo." John explained with a happy little grin on his face.

"Damn-it! It's impossible to guess this word without using any of these clues." Brian whined, showing John the card. John looked at the card before looking up at Roger,

"You use mine to dry your socks," Deaky stated.

"Microwave!" Roger guessed,

"Ding!" John smirked handing the card back to Brian, who rolled his eyes in return.

"This is a stupid game, can't we just play scrabble like we usually do?" Brian asked. 

"Oh, darling, don't be so dull." Freddie scoffed emerging from the couple's bathroom, "Our turn, Deaky?" 

"Better not, you know how competitive Brian can get." John teased. 

"I am not competitive." Brian scoffed. 

"Yes, you are."  Roger accused.

"Let us not forget the great Monopoly disaster." Freddie reminded. 

"You sent poor Roger to the hospital." John stated, "He still has the scar." 

"I nearly swallowed the thimble." Roger added, "and I got a concussion." 

"Ok, so I'm just a little competitive," Brian admitted.

"A little?" Freddie scoffed receiving a glare from Brian.

"At least he's a big enough person to admit it." John smiled, kissing Brian's cheek. 

"Gross," Roger remarked, "I'm bored." 

"Why don't you call lover boy? I'm sure he would be more than happy to cure that boredom." Freddie mocked.

"Where's your clone, surprised he's not here to ruin another evening." Roger shot back.

"Paul's out with Tim. The person you should be with." Freddie spat.

"Guys! We agreed we wouldn't talk about this tonight, remember." Brian sighed. 

"Roger if you were on Tim we could all go on double dates together." Freddie encouraged again.

"Freddie just stop." Brian groaned growing more annoyed at the older boy.

"I just think-" Freddie was cut off by John asking the question Brian and Roger were also wondering,

"Freddie, why do you want Roger to go back out with Tim so bad?"

"I just do," Freddie replied, not looking at his three friends.

"But why?" John asked again.

"Why does it matter?" Freddie huffed, folding his arms over his chest. 

"Just answer the question, Fred." Brian joined in. " Why do you want Roger back with that abusive asshole, who you hate more than you hate Michael's llama."

"Fine!" Freddie huffed, "Do you wanna know why?" 

"Yes!" All three of them answered.

"Do you really wanna know?"

"Yes!" 

"Do you really, really wanna know?" 

"For Christ, sakes just tell us!" John yelled.

"Fine." Freddie sighed, "When Roger was with Tim, he needed me. When he was single, he needed me. Now that he's dating David I'm afraid he's not going to need me anymore."

Roger moved to sit next to Freddie pulling him into a tight hug, 

"Of course I'll need you, Fred. I'll always need you." Roger reassured, "You're my best friend, my soulmate. Deaky and Brian are dull and boring-"

"We are right here," John stated.

"You're in our house," Brian added.

"As I was saying, you never have to worry about me never needing you because I always will." Roger grinned.

Freddie smiled back returning Roger's hug,

"I'm sorry I tried to get you back with Tim." Freddie apologized, "He's still a walker."

Roger and Freddie laughed.

"Ok, now that we're friends again, can we please play something." Brian huffed 

"How about we try to Taboo again? This time Freddie and Roger against me and you." John suggested. 

"As long as I'm not on Roger's team again, I'm game." Brian remarked, "He's a terrible guesser."

"I am a great guesser; you are horrible at giving clues." Roger shot back, "Come on, Fred, let's kick there, asses!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, feel free to comment to tell me what you think and I hope you all enjoy.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please tell me what you guys think. 
> 
> Please follow me on Tumblr:   
> https://incorrectquotesbymembersofqueen.tumblr.com/
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